I agree, brushing could be causing a lot of your issues. If her hair needs combing, you could try using a wide tooth comb when hair is wet and full of conditioner.

You may want to occasionally shampoo, just use something gentle like Cocamidopropyl Betaine. You shouldn't use terry cloth to dry--you'll want to use flour sack towels or cotton tee shirts.

You can read a lot on nc.com. Here's another website that has the information in one place Live Curly Live Free - Curly Hair Basics.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity

HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix