I don't think it's as much of a controversy as people simply recommending (with different degrees of forcefulness) what works for them.
My hair doesn't like silicones. It laughs at them all--- dimethicone, amodimethicone (took me a while to figure this one out), methicone, and the -xanes. (And I do wash with a low-poo on a semi-regular basis...)
It just has never worked. Ever.
I realize that a lot of people have success with cones, but I can, with a good amount of confidence, say that I'm never going to be one of those people.
The end mantra, of course, would just be: Do what works for you.
Hair Type: 3c, Med-High Density, Low Porosity
CG since '09
Low Poo: KC Come Clean
Condish: AOHR, TN (Avocado), TJ Balancing Moisture
Leave in: GDL, KBB
Curl Lotion/Gel: CHS/CK
Others: CJ Curl Rehab, Jojoba Oil