I've come to believe that it really is in the formulation of the product. Interestingly, this is what Marsha of Curl Junkie had said to me and others a couple of years ago when it seemed like everyone's hair "hated aloe" (It's probably even still in my siggie lol). She told me that it's rare for a person's hair to truly "hate" an ingredient and that the culprit is likely the formulation of the product itself.
Over the last few years, I've made several comments here that "silicones don't work for me". The silicones I had tried were dimethicone and amodimethicone in both stylers and conditioners. The conditioner that I frequently use now has both of those silicones in it, and they aren't at the bottom of the ingredient list. My hair loves this conditioner. It's a higher-end, not very well-known conditioner, and it's pretty concentrated so a little bit goes a long way for me. Based on my experiences, I can't say anymore that those silicones don't work for me.