My cousin's funeral was absolutely gut-wrenching, and I started bawling my heart-out the second I was driving home.

However, it was also really, really beautiful. The church was absolutely stuffed with people...standing room only.There were 600 people there. The Dean from his prep school spoke, and the fact that he remembered so much about him since he graduated 20 years ago, says it all.

I think if you have a turn-out at your funeral like that because SO many people loved you and you touched that many people, that even if you only had 38 years, then that means you lived them so right.

I was reading through a bunch of emails from him the other night, and so many times he'd comment on something I wrote about or observation I made and say how much it made him laugh. The fact that I made him smile or laugh over the past several years means a lot to me right now.