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Old 02-05-2013, 12:12 PM   #44
BlackAngelPlayah
 
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Join Date: May 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmilingElephant View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackAngelPlayah View Post
I struggle with bipolar disorder. I have spells of happiness, depression, anger, MANIA!! You actually feel insane!
BAP do u also experience psychosis? I do. My delusions can get really bad. I also have voices in my head, my meds help with those tho.

It can be scary



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Not yet. The only voice I here is my own. Telling me crazy stuff. Like my good friend is turning against me, my boss is out to get me, the company is making changes JUST to screw with ME- (baby you just ain't that important. LoL!) I get super angry and just snap for no reason. Then I get mad at myself. I've cut myself before... Many times. Then you gotta explain the cuts, then later the scars.. Now I REALLY feel crazy!!!

I'm trying to deal with it through meditation. I used medication that was for depression, but I don't like how I feel on it. I feel artificially happy. Like numb. At first it was cool, but it didn't really treat the mania.

I'm hoping meditation and reflection will help. I'm "newly" Buddhist and meditation seems to be a really big deal.
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