My fine/low pososity hair doesn't care for straight oil/butter either, but does like them in well formulated products.
IMHO, it could be some of the products you're using are taking out the moisture or not moisturizing enough to add moisture. After the ingredient change several years ago, I found the Deva NoPoo really drying. Same with the CJ Daily Fix, if I use it too frequently. I also don't find KCKT moisturizing enough for me. Because of the magnesium sulfate, Re Coil can also be drying.
Not sure where you live. I live outside of Philly. When we had a really dry, cold spell with dewpoints in the single digits and negative numbers, I'd use DTs as my leave in. (my hair is so moisturized that I don't DT) You may want to up the moisture in some of your products?
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08
HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me