No, thank YOU for being so understanding. Not to be all "woe is me", but it hasn't been easy at all. It is very difficult to feel comfortable in one's own skin when the world isn't very accepting, know what I mean?
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
It doesn't at all sound to me like you're pitying yourself – just honestly telling your story I think after a while, general conformity is just not a viable option (for those of us who are viewed as chronically “other”). I agree w/your sentiment: that being “different” can be discomforting at times. (And one thing I've also learned is that difference can be a wonderful blessing; a strength! I actually love being biracial, despite any issues. I don't think I have any more issues than mono-racial ppl, actually.)

I grew up being told that I had "n*gger" hair, that my skin was too white, being bullied by people of different races, having people question who my parents were and why I looked this way, being abused...and it was tough.
That hair comment is infuriating. I'm so sorry. I can relate to the verbal harassment and violence. I was bullied by certain kids (always black) when I was a kid and I'm sure that's only because they were being mistreated by racist ppl who looked like me. I have mostly white features, green eyes and so on. Was pale until adulthood, at which point I moved from one sunny city after another to live. It was subconscious, but I did that to get darker. Since I stopped straightening my hair and have a tan, I get a lot of “what are you” inquiries. I usually like it because I get to talk to ppl from all sorts of different cultures.

And it wasn't like I grew up in some backwoods little town in the middle of nowhere. I grew up in a huge city with people of ALL races and cultures. So it's crazy to me that people would care so much about that stuff where I live. I was exposed to a lot of diversity from an early age. I ate Indian food, Ethiopian cuisine, I had family that lived all over the world, my mom once lived with a dude from Ghana and we would attend parties where all races/colors were welcome...I guess I took it all for granted and hoped that people would just accept me for who I was, warts and all.
I've also found that sprawling metropolises have their fair share of racism lol. And I just think people tend to get anxious when they don't know a person's racial background. It happens so often that my conclusion is they usually want to know how I will act around them, and also how they can act (and what they can get away with saying) around me.

When I realized that people did indeed see color and they would treat me according to whatever their prejudices were, it hurt.
It does remind me of that thing I went through w/my ex-bf's mother panicking and trying to sabotage our r-ship after finding out I'm part-black.
You are not alone. I'll reply to your other post in a shortly
3b/c?

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