I never saw the original post...but just wanted to say I saw a post from a mother recently that had a son that she pretty much described identical to yours. She decided instead of meds to try diet. I know some doctors...fight this saying it doesn't make a difference but her testimony was living proof. She removed dairy, gluten and I forget what else and noticed even after 4 days a change in her son. She goes on to say...after some time (can't remember how long) she had her son back. He is old enough ...that he can describe to her how he felt...tha the doesn't want to go back to feeling frusterated...etc. It was a very lovely testimony. I know diet or vitamin defficency can play a role in behavior.
My son last fall was having attention problems, then behavior issues, etc. Nothing to the degree you described. We found out in November he was anemic...after bumping up our iron (red meats, more green veggies) and taking liquid iron in juice...it came back up. His behavior has gotten better and his attention is better in school. This was one little vitamin defficiency...I can't imagine what it would be if he was allergic or had issues with other things.
I wish all of you lots of love, patience, and knowledge to know how to handle each of your unique situations.