OP - what are your hair properties? What products are you using? To me it sounds like it needs protein. Your hair sounds a lot like mine. I cannot co-wash. I have to shampoo. I have fine textures hair that benefits greatly from protein.
Shampoo is not the evil of the world, it's really not. The key is not to use harsh sulfates daily. Maybe you need to be a regular low-pooer, if your roots get greasy. As far as dry ends, focus some more moisture on them.
A DT doesn't need to contain honey, but if your hair is limp & curl pattern is loosening, I highly doubt you need a DT. Try protein first. And a PT doesn't HAVE to be followed up with a DT. I never DT. My hair gets OCd if I look at a DT. Judge what conditioner you should use by how your hair feels as you're rinsing out a PT. I can follow mine up with a light RO like VO5 or suave naturals. If your hair feels really dry and rough, use a stronger conditioner.
fine, thin, normal/(low?) porosity. Mod-CG. Usually I can't co-wash more than 1x a week, & sometimes I have to use T-Gel in rotation due to scalp issues.
Co-wash: VO5 Volumizing
Poo: Giovanni 50:50
RO:TN, Nexxus Youth Renewal, Alba Coconut
PT: gelatin PT, ION EC
Stylers: Giovanni mousse, TIGI Curls Rock amplifier (a-cone), Curls Rock Strong Hold Mousse
Gels: SCC spray gel