Update! I was really sad because my products just weren't working
The emulsions would not mix, and no matter what I tried, what with double boilers and such, I just could not make conditioner.
Tonight, though, I thought maybe it'd be easier if I combined the water phase with the emulsifiers in one Pyrex glass and microwaved it. It worked so much better!! I made a gentle foaming cleansing conditioner and have a rinse out/leave-in conditioner setting right now. I also made some gel/gelly product, but it turned into more of a thin serum, so I might try it again but use a thickener this time.