DD referral - confused parents
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Join Date: Sep 1999
The thing is, if your child has some kind of issue then they can and have to plan around their individual needs. In fact, they HAVE TO. I don't see anything to get pissed about at this stage. Sometimes delays are a fact, they happen. No one is saying your child is broken but she many have issues and identifying them can give a better idea of how to address those issues.
Trust me, if she needs some help in fine motor skills, you want the school to address this. PT is EXPENSIVE. It's also a lot easier on your kid if the teacher knows that there are some fine motor skills and the kid isn't just lazy when it comes to hand writing. My daughter has a tremor that causes her handwriting to be pretty sloppy sometime. I am glad her teacher knows she's doing the best she can and isn't riding her about something she can't help or change.
These things also take a lot of time to get in place. Anything they do now will make next year easier. If she needs a 504 or IEP to make allowances for some things or help her in some areas, setting up now will mean they will be in place next year. If she needs services (PT, OT, speech), they can take months to set up.
I don't know how it works in your state, but in my state they do a full eval, no matter what they're looking for. For instance, my daughter has dystonia. Her eval found that she's also gifted. Bonus. I don't know why, but it seems like speech always happens first. Maybe it's fastest?
In my very limited experience, most five year olds can handle the small amount of seat time by this point in the year. They can follow the routines they've been following for several months. If most of the rest of the class can and she's struggling, don't you want to know why and what you can do to help? They have learned to raise their hands, etc. This is a lot of the "work" of kindergarten. Maybe she's just a young five. I know a lot of kids who go to Transitional First or repeat K because they just had some growing up to do.
Also, this is how WHAT starts? There is no benefit to the school for having a kid "in the system." Screening is time consuming and expensive. Services are costly and stretched thin. PT and OT are doled out in minutes per month. MINUTES. She may not even need services, but she might benefit from accommodations. If there's a problem, I'd be happy that the teacher is willing to investigate for the root and not just writing it of as "this kid needs to sit down and shut up" behavioral.
The process is long, convoluted, and often confusing. Ask for a meeting and take in a list of questions. Ask what kind of benefit your daughter might expect from all this, and what kind of plan they can put in place to help her focus. Take a notebook and write down as much as you can, starting with everyone's names, what they do, and a contact number.
There's a certain amount of teamwork in a group class setting. One child who repeatedly interrupts or is disruptive impacts every kid and if they need extra support, why not get it for them? The extra support may come in the form of sitting closer to the teacher. It's not like they're going to send you home with a bag of pills
Get a meeting with a teacher and ask a lot of questions. It's hard to get a complete picture from notes and emails. You have questions, make them set aside some time to answer them.