Female students who are White and from educated families are not "tracked" into special ed so I wouldn't entertain hubby's conspiracy theory.
It seems your daughter does possibly have some legitimate deficiencies and the teacher is trying to do her job...however awkwardly.
Bc she is so young and bc she has parents who care and a teacher who is trying to be proactive, it seems like your daughter stands a good chance of getting thru this.
I agree w/ CGNYC in that I'd rather the teacher overwhelm you with resources and help than ride the kid for things she can't control.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG