Hi, I'm also from Southern California!
When the weather is dry you don't want to use products with humectants in them and Shea Moisture & Eco Styler both contain glycerin - a humectant. That could be why they're not working and causing frizz.
A glycerin-free leave-in that's pretty popular is Kinky-Curky Knot Today. It's around $12 at Target and I personally really like it.
The Garnier Pure Clean gel also contains glycerin so maybe hold off on that until its not so dry out.
Aussie Instant Freeze is a humectant free gel.
You can also check weather related product recommendations under the grey "care" tab uptop and then "frizz forecast".
I have to ask, how often are you shampooing? Since you're not using anything that should build-up I wonder if you even need a shampoo. Sometimes hair gets unruly because it's dry, even sulfate free shampoo does that to my hair.
As far as when you take your pineapple down - hmm well my hair stands up when I take it down. Probably because it's fine and not weighty enough to just fall back down on its own. I pull it into a low ponytail while I shower and get dressed so it comes back down lol.