Very important are my words. Initially, he was very vague and that did not sit well with me. I pointed out that we have already done many nontraditional things and could he think about articulating what is important to him about this tradition. His response was that he wanted us to share a name and that he wanted to share his name with me. I think he isn't completely in the habit of thinking about why we do things (I'm working on it). But this wasn't an argument by any means.
I don't know how I would feel if I had a nice last name but my last name is awful, I wouldn't ask anyone to use it.
Also, my initial response was no and while he wasn't overjoyed, he didn't bring it up again. It wasn't a dealbreaker for him by any means. I'm the one who has been thinking about it for 6 months. I haven't mentioned that I may have changed my mind to him yet.
I completely get what you are saying. I just didn't want to leave the impression that he is sexist.