Myrna, sorry to hear you're having problems
An emollient is what a lot of people hear call a "sealer" - something with a (generally) fatty consistency, that coats hair shafts such that moisture is sealed in. Oils (like coconut or castor) and "butters" like avocado and shea, fall under this category. With your hair, you'd probably have to use these items sparingly.
Here's a list of emollient esters
contained in hair products.
Sounds like your gel might have jacked you high, but, when was the last time you used a sulfate shampoo? If you're suffering from product buildup, an actual shampoo would be good (w/something sulfate-based and/or something containing cocoamidopropyl betaine). Another possible culprit is too much or not enough protein in your products. There are "symptoms" that will point to a protein issue. Yet another possibility is over-conditioned hair (w/other symptoms for that
). Maybe you could describe the exact nature of your issue.