Hi bbbb, I'm really sorry about the lupus! Hopefully, it goes into remission and your hair grows back. I could be mistaken, but I thought lupus kind of comes and goes - I hope it goes for a long stretch!

Meanwhile, have you tried protein, like in Curl Junkie Repair Me? Please post back and let us know if you find something that helps.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Experimenting with cones & sulfates while the dews are high.
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift