Shouldn't your Jewish sister be boozin' it up, too, except with the required glasses of wine? (Which I also can't drink, grrrrrr...) If she isn't, the Orthodox might like you better! They take the four glasses thing literally unlike everyone else and I hear they have quite the time on Passover despite the whole...y'know, Orthodoxy thing.
OMG, LOOK!!

...It's a siggie.