Fifi - I can't quote all your posts, but I feel all of them. I'd heard people lose theirbparents, and of course I felt sympathy for them, but I had no idea how much actual pain it causes. Sometimes I don't feel human. Most days I don't feel part of the same world as everyone else. I fake the usual everyday-ness, but I feel like I'm walking around in a bubble.
Nobody reached out to me either. Of course my mother - she lost her mother in her 20's so she could empathize. My bf who lost his dad at 18 - I couldn't have made it through the first few weeks without him - and his mother was very nice and reached out to me often. That was the extent of it. No phone calls or cards from anyone else I knew or who knew him. We didn't have a funeral. My dad was private and close with the people important to him. Me, bf, my stepmom and step brother went to the funeral home in NC to say goodbye, and I wrote an obituary (which my aunt changed before she submitted it to the paper). My family in MA wanted to hold a memorial 'get together' for people up here. I didn't go. I couldn't. I laid around in my pajamas and watched Supernatural for 2 weeks. I can't be around any family. My dad and I had issues w family anyway, but its too much of a reminder. And I cant talk to anyone either, Fifi. I had one friend calle crying that she needed me bc her bf broke up with her. As if.
KurlyKae, thank you for sharing your story. You too, Jess.
Speckla, doesn't it feel good to get off your chest?
I normally don't do this. I hate being vulnerable. I bottle up my feelings inside like a good little non overly emotional girl. And I'm horrible at opening up and crying in front of people.
Yes, I talk to my dad all the time. I just wish he'd talk back.
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