Oh Marci if I was your boyfriend I would worship your genuinely curly hair. (I realize I'm a heterosexual female with a curl fetish but still--you can know what I mean. Solidarity sister!)
You're right I should take it as a compliment but . . . am I the only one who thinks hair that's been done all the way around with a curling iron looks too neat and fake? Maybe that's why I took it to insult. Real curly hair is a grab bag and full of lovely twirls and swirls and character. You never what it's gonna do which is half the headache, I mean fun.
I have had the curling iron question too...by people who have usually seen me with second day hair that has been tied back and suddenly see me in more curly mode, or if I pin back my much less wavy canopy so the curlier bits are exposed. I think it is partly the variability of curls people don't get - I also have some people who haven't seen me for a few years (my hair used to be much curlier) asking why/how I'm wearing it less curly. Someone said to me the other day, 'Remember when you went all pre-raphaelite?' - that got me down because I actually put a lot less effort in then, I just got lucky with the curls for a while, it isn't that I've suddenly decided to
not 'go' that way.
Also, yes, the touching thing is startling - kind of oh, your hair looks nice, leaning in to destroy it! I've tried sometimes to explain to people that brushing/running fingers through/sleeping on hair can wreck curl definition and that seems to create huge suspicion!! I think straight haired people really think that definition etc is completely beyond our control/influence of outside factors. They seem to think you either have straight hair you should be brushing, or naturally perfectly defined curls that survive anything. I get that their hair doesn't go through comparable experiences, but still.
Sorry, this is a place to rant, right?
Marci, you're so right about straight hair can't be gelled/scrunched into waves or curls. I have a section of straight hair and after using gel, plopping, diffusing etc it is always sublimely undisturbed - it ignores all that. Makes me realise how different even loose waves are to straight hair, because they respond to the styling and if they aren't styled they don't just lie calmly there.
ps Dusalocks - yes, I know what you mean about the uniformity of tonged hair - I guess most people just don't think that much about it to realise the discrepancy. But your cousin obviously loves the way your hair is now which is good.