There is nothing wrong with being assertive.
However, some of the most assertive people, once it is pointed out to them that their words have come across as hurtful when they did not intend them to be, will then apologize.
And intention does not matter.
It’s so important I’m going to say it again:
intention does not matter.
ETA: You said a couple posts ago you’ve been in touch with Minxy. I hope you have, via PM or something. Because I feel you certainly owe her an apology.
If you want to keep all that from the rest of us in an attempt to not back down from this and give “attitude,” as you say, well, that’s your call I guess. But then don’t be surprised when people continue to call you on the carpet for it.