wow I love his hair in the first picture! looks way better! It looks like all it needs is a light coat of gel/curl pudding/oil whatever run gently over the canopy of his head to tame the ever so slight frizz and it would be perfect!
the second pic is too greasy looking, makes him look like he is auditioning for fabio JR or something lol.
have you tried modified CG? even a shampoo with no sulfates might be better than nothing. only once a week. an all natural one. then your hubby thinks he is getting shampooed (even tho its got no sulfates), and his hair mightnt be so weighed down with product or conditioner.
the other option is rinsing a little of the conditioner out so you only have half as much in there?
but if your little boy is happy with it, and you are too, i guess theres no need to do anything!
but i really do love that first photo, what a cutie, what a head of gorgous hair!