Been feeling pretty depressed the last few days. I'd like to vent a little here, and hopefully get some words of encouragement. I've had depression since I was 12. I usually have a stagnant depression but with periods of lows and this is one of them. I'm feeling my usual feelings during these times... Lonely, miserable, ugly, unloveable, worried about the future, u name it. I don't really have any friends,1 or 2 at most, and every year I find myself more and more lonely. I pretty much want to die. No, I'm not going to try anything, it's more like a "I wish I were never born" feeling. No one would care if I did die anyway. I've tried 7 medications so I really don't want to try anymore. I'm worried that I will feel like this the rest of my life, and spend my life alone and depressed and with nothing to look forward to other than coming home to my dog. Can anyone relate? I'm really very tired of having such low self esteem. I think it's where a majority of my issues stem. I've never had a real boyfriend, just guys who used me and dropped me when something better looking came along. I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone, and that's why I am alone. I feel like this is life's way of showing me that I have no value because no one cares about me, no matter how much I give and try to make others happy in their own lives. Thanks to anyone who read all of this. I'm just feeling really depressed and needed to get it out somehow since I don't really have anyone to talk to
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190
This is tough. Depression sucks! I want you to know that your life is incredibly meaningful, and whether you know it or not, people know you and they care about you. Your absence would in fact create a void in other people's lives--don't think for one moment that no one cares or thinks about you.

Sometimes out of all of life's chaos and challenges, our greatest challenge is our own selves. It's important to try to nourish your soul with the things that bring you joy and positivity. Get a list and think of the things that have brought you joy and put a smile on your face--activities, hobbies, local places, and see if you can make those things part of your daily/weekly routine. As far as friendships, are there people that you have gone to school with that you were friends with that maybe you can reach out to? Perhaps also engaging in activities and organizations that you are interested in can widen your circle of friends. Don't be afraid to reach out; don't think about how you feel other people view you. There is nothing wrong with you. Your life is full of purpose. Feel good about who you are so that your personality, vibrancy and unique traits shine through. When other people feel good about themselves and about life, other people want to hang around those kind of people. There is no physical barrier stopping you from being one of those people, except that mental barrier. Refute the negativity, because you are absolutely amazing. Enough said.

Watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8oR8ztug0s . Every now and then, she has a video related to this topic, and she is incredibly positive. I just want to reinforce the message that you are incredibly worth it, and your life is full of boundless opportunities. Think positive. Treat yourself. Get a manicure, buy a new outfit, take a day trip to a nearby park or museum. But don't think negatively about yourself. Instead, think about something or someone else. Sometimes we get into a habit of thinking about ourselves too much--like our imperfections, what we lack, etc. Don't wallow in this though. Take your mind off of yourself and off of your problems, and think of what energizes you, what makes you passionate about life, what sparks your creativity and focus on those things.

I know it's not easy, and this kind of transition doesn't happen over night. But know that you are incredibly valuable. Start with that truth, and work from these. Just take it one day at a time. Please feel better!