I feel so sad reading these entries. I can't think of anything to say that will help, except you (all of you who have posted in this thread) are not alone. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you feel better. I know what it is to struggle with painful feelings.
Please continue to post here and know that we are reading and feeling empathy and sympathy for you.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Experimenting with cones & sulfates while the dews are high.
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift