I think you need to have a stylist who you can tell what you want and they will know how to achieve it. If you don't have confidence in your stylist or you think he/she is the reason your hair isn't the way you want it, you may want to look for a new stylist.
Have you tried looking on this website for hair stylists in your city?
I agree with what someone else said about the longest layer - shouldn't hang much longer than the ones above it. You want your layers to blend.