I have 2b hair that was very damaged mechanically and chemically, I've been shampoo and silicone free for two years and the worst of the damage is now gone, the 'new' hair is much less poofier/ fluffier/ unmanageable than the 'old' hair.
Best things I have done are
- cut off the worst of the damage instead of fighting it, honestly you cannot repair hair that is totally fried and super porous and you will drive yourself insane trying to tame it
- start conditioner only washing, my hair depoufed right away. On the rare occasion I have to shampoo (sulphate free) it is dry, huge and unmanageable again
- regular coconut oil intensive treatments, research suggests it reduces porosity and protects from further damage/ structural protein loss. Also good for shine with regular use, best washed out with conditioner not shampoo
- apply products to wet not damp hair, don't overdry with a towel. Never brush hair, very wide tooth comb or finger detangle
- use a LOT of product, being porous my hair drinks up everything from leave in conditioner to gel.
Other than that I am still learning and my hair is still driving me to distraction some of the time, but these did make a huge difference pretty quickly.