Wow lol, I don't relate to any of this. I have heard of it though for women a bit older than me that have superman standards, which is why that 'lean in' book was written. I think there are probably people my age that feel that way too.
Why isn't succeeding at one's career, being able to support yourself and a family enough for many of these women? I don't understand working women who want 2 full time jobs(outside the home and taking care of a home/family as good as a full time stay at home mom), its not possible.
I think the pressures you mentioned are self inflicted. If she doesn't want to be 'empowered' by holding her own doors, competing at work with men and women, make a lot of money, etc, that's fine, there are many traditional men that may like that and will provide and play that role. There are a lot of men though that want to have their cake and eat it too - have a woman contribute equally in finances(or more) but then expect her to do most of the domestic duties.