Hmm, sounds like you have quite a bit of damage. The "Big Chop" would be best for your hair, take it back to healthy then love it back to the length you want. That said I understand how scary the Big Chop is, so you other option is to grow out your damage. Cut it back to a length you can fell comfortable with (for example just under you ear). Then you maintain that length with with religious visits to the hair dresser. This way you cut out the dead growth until the whole length of your tresses are healthy and you don't have anymore dry ends.
My warning is that cutting your hair this way will take longer over all to fix your hair. Split end are like wood rot, they split and damage your hair from the ends up. This also means you are going to have to be very proactive in protecting you ends (using sealers, DC, and wearing protective styles).
I know all this because I've also had damaged hair
. I did the big chop and while it's taken me time to get it back, its been well worth it!
Modified CG since 8/12
Hair: BSL, Thick, Low Porosity, Dense, 3A
HG's: Moogoo, Ultraorganics Intense Camomile Conditioner and Clear Henna Hair Wax, Sukin Conditioners, CO, Spray Bottle, Henna
Low-Poo: Moogoo Shampoo
Co-Wash: Sukin Nourishing Conditioner
DT: CHHW, ICC, CO
LI: Sukin Moisture Restoring