I have been back and forth as short-ish and long as well. My hair seems to take a long time to get past BSL so I don't know why I always chop it back after I finally get there. I think I just get bored, and I guess it wasn't as healthy as it is now so that was another reason. I imagine it's growing a lot faster now so that's good.
Anyway, I have tried a few shoulder length cuts and even one that was above the shoulders and never really loved any of them. I love them on other people, but I think I look better with longer hair. I also am SUPER envious of women with long gorgeous thick hair which is why I am forever trying to grow it back out lol. There was a time a couple years ago when my hair was about to my butt and though it wasn't very healthy and I wasn't letting my natural hair do it's thing I still really loved the length and what it looked like when I took the time to curl it (though as you can probably guess with my fine hair it never stayed lol) Now I can't wait for a similar length with my natural curls ... though they may be more waves by the time they are that length from the weight. It can be a hassle some days to have long hair, but like you said I just think it's me and I like the options with long hair.
For some reason I cut about 14-15 inches off my long hair that fall and regretted it immediately. It wasn't a very good cut for starters, but I have been growing it since then and am only to about BSL with only one or two trims in that time.
I don't know what your cut is now, but you could also try adding in a few shorter layers around your face maybe. When done right I like that look on people with curls. And if you do decide to go for a cut that's fine... it can take time but it does grow back.
Fine, low porosity, med/high density
BSL - going for mid back to waist
HG: currently just washing with a low poo that contains protein (Alba Naturals Coconut) and using Suave Naturals Coconut as both a RO and LI. No stylers right now, but this gives me pretty good curl, definition, low-ish frizz, and it feels and looks good. Also an occasional PT (liking the Palmer's Coconut Oil Formula which has cones) seems to be key for me.
Modified CG since February 2013