I've had the same types of experiences, I have only found 2 stylists who actually listened to what I wanted and then did it. My best advice is to decide exactly what you want done and then be very specific. And in my experience even "long layers" is open to interpretation. It also helps to explain what your goals are for your hair (growing it out, trying to make it more healthy, etc). My best results have been when I do all this. I usually figure out how much I want off and then subtract an inch or so because most stylists seem unable to measure . Then I go in and say I want 2inches off in a scoop shape. If you want layers tell them where you want them to start and tell them absolutely no thinning or razor/texture cutting. If they don't seem to be listening or even start making suggestions that don't jibe with your goals leave. I also request a dry cut, if they balk at that, leave. My current stylist wets my hair with a squirt bottle for a 'dry' cut but she always does exactly what I say so I let it go. I think it helped too that the first time I saw her I told her several of the horrible things others had done to my hair and what didn't work. Just like with products, you have to keep trying till you find a good one.
2A / F / MD / LP / ?E / BSL --- CG since Dec. 2012

This is what I'm happiest with right now.
Co-wash: CJ DailyFix
Lo-poo: DermOrganic low-poo
RO: SS Caitlin's co
Leave-in: SheScentIt Okra Repair condish
PT: SS Caitlin's + SS PT
Stylers: Volumax Mega Gel, Max Green Styling Gel, DermOrganics Spray Gel
Techniques: Plopping & Pixie Diffusing.
glycerin, honey, oils & butters Protein!