First of all, you have to realize that the cuticle is not like a Venetian blind--it doesn't open and close that easily. Spraying warm water on your hair isn't going to open the cuticle. You may not be overconditioned, just too much product on your hair that isn't absorbed weighing it down.
I have never really been able to do second day hair, so I can't make suggestions about that. I wet and style every day.
If you are overconditioned, there are two ways to handle that--lowpoo or protein to counteract. It's all about getting the moisture/protein balance correct.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08
HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me