Myrna, I think our hair sounds similar also. My biggest hair challenges are drying time and not being flat on top. Since my hair is so thick it's own weight can make it flat, heavy or wrong products make it flat. I feel like I will forever struggle with drying time. Not combing it upright has really helped with the flatness problem. The better job I do of drying the top even if it's just with a towel the less flat it gets. I always end up having to play with it a lot while it's wet to keep plumping it. That can be a pain when you have other things to do!
My amount of curl really varies depending on weather and styling technique. It is what it is and I don't worry about that to much. I do have one side that is straighter and if it gets to straight it falls in my eyes. But, that is the only area where I really worry about amount of curl. And, when it comes to frizz I don't feel like it's a major problem though some techniques and products do lead to a smoother look which I like better. My hair always looks better and smoother by the end of the day which I have read is common for low porosity hair.
Interesting comments about the leave in. I never really used one until recently. And, I do notice that when I use it my hair looks better. But I have to be careful because getting to heavy with it leads to super long drying time. Like I said I just use the Yes To Carrots rinse out right now as leave in and just a pea size amount on 5-7 sections. I could probably get away with using more of all my products but I'm scared to go over board because I can't stand the feel of having too much on my hair.
I used to think I had to wash everyday. My hair is crazy looking without and I admit a huge part of wanting to do it is a mental thing. I tried not washing everyday and it lead to flatness on top which is one of my big issues. So, now I have gotten to where I wash every day with just a pea size amount of shampoo just on top at the roots. I think it gives me a little umph up there. It also addresses my mental need to feel like I have washed my hair. I have noticed a big difference in how smooth my hair is now that I don't shampoo it all over. Is this something you could try? Only shampooing the top? Using less shampoo?
About the Kinky Curly products. Since you are interested in them I will tell you more about my experience with them. After all I read I thought they were going to be the end all be all. They made my hair look really good. But, it was just way to tangled after the shower for my liking. I have super thick hair and don't have time to comb through it when it's tangled in the morning. There are plenty of products that allow me to get a comb right through with no problem so I don't plan to settle for less than that. As I said, the Custard made my hair stick together like glue was in it. It wasn't sticky feeling to the touch. It didn't make me feel like I needed to wash my hands after I touched my hair. I can't stand that feeling! But, I must admit, I like to be able to comb my hair if I feel the need and I can't stand if I can't pull my fingers through my hair without them getting hung up in knots and tangles and stickiness. With the custard combing my hair just didn't work. It was stuck together.
Myrna for your volume do you ever try a diffuser? I have mixed results with one. I think it makes my hair frizzier and crazier looking. More out of control. But, it definitely adds volume. I have to be careful. If I diffuse too long it can get really out of control and big. I mostly just diffuse when it's really cold and I can't stand to go outside with wet hair. Have you tried the Smoothie? You said you didn't think you could use it right? I think it provides a lot of curl but not really hold. Maybe you could use it to get the curl you want and something else to provide you with the hold you need.
2C, low porosity, high density, coarse, shoulder length No sulfates, no parabens, no silicones
Shampoo- Shea Moisture Coconut Hibiscus, Giovanni Smooth As Silk, Deva No Poo, Nature's Gate Aloe Vera, Yes To Carrots
Conditioner- Shea Moisture Curl & Style Milk, Giovanni Smooth As Silk, Deva One Condition, Nature's Gate Aloe Vera, Yes To Carrots
Styler- Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, Shea Moisture Shine & Hold Mist, Yes to Carrots Leave In and Yes To Carrots Anti-Frizz Serum