If I don't detangle regularly, I can get nasty knots right at my nape so I feel your pain. When it's bad, I'll use a brush to loosen the knot before getting it wet. It almost gives me a jump start on getting it out in the shower.

What I do is I start detangling from the bottom up. I'll hold my hair still a few inches up with one hand, that way when I detangle the bottom it won't tug on the roots and pull out hairseseses. . . then I just rake very gently with my other fingers and when I hit a knot I first rinse with water and then add extra conditioner, teasing the knot with the tips of my figners and plucking it (I guess you could say "pick") so that I can unravel it very, very gently. Once I've sufficiently detangled the first bottom few inches of my hair I work my way up.
Originally Posted by dusalocks
I do the same thing as far as technique, and Samanthascurls, I also use AIA Coconut CoWash. I sometimes try to detangle my hair after the cowash (before rinsing) but it's difficult unless I want to tear up my hair. For some reason, though, it becomes SO much easier to work the knots out after rinsing!

I would try using the AIA as your detangler. To me it works the same as both DevaCurl One Conditioner, so it might work well for you, too.
2b/2c, fine, thick, normal porosity/elasticity

Current routine: co-wash & detangle with AIA Coconut CoWash then RO. Experimenting w/AG re:coil, DCVF & All-Nutrient Hair Proteinizer.
Love: AO GPB, KCCC, PBH Gelatine Goo, ANHP, CNPF
Like: GDL, FSG, honey, HETT, JCNS, DCVF
Hate: glycerin, mineral oil