My honest reaction is so what. Like you said we and other races have been bending over backwards for generations to make ourselves "presentable" and "acceptable" to white people. Why can't we get past this need for validation? If someone likes my hair great. If they don't then As Rhettt Butler put it, frankly my dear I don't give a damn. I feel no obligation or inclination to be on display while random people fondle my hair because of my blackness. It has a subhuman feel to it. Actually it touches a nerve in reminding me of stories I have read about slaves being put up on auction block and white people coming to look them over touching and inspecting them. For a long time we were only considered 3/5 of a person and counted as possessions alongside the cattle so Why we would volunteer to let ourselves be once again objectified is beyond me.
Now I have a diverse group of friends. Believe it or not several of my white and Asian friends ask me for advice for their hair because they know I research a lot. Just today I was explaining to a lady at work who is white about cowashing and possible natural remedies for her itchy scalp.. I have always said I don't like people touching my hair without asking or doing it repeatedly. but I have never told anyone who asked no except for a few creepy guys at Walmart.