Two questions for you curlygirls that are grey...
"When I see older women with very dark hair it looks aging to me. There seems to be a typical style of flat black that many of them get." - CurlyGrey3
Sure, some people do that, but certainly not all. This stereotype of the older woman coloring her hair very dark persists though. It seems that so many people just assume that the grey-haired person always dyes their hair black or dark brown. Not so at all! In real life, there are many women who color their hair and look wonderful. It all depends on the woman and her look and lifestyle. For me, it was(and still is)very freeing to go in the opposite direction and COLOR my hair, as I grew up in a family and location where hair coloring was really frowned upon(I'm far away from both now, plus my parents have been gone for a long time). And right now it almost seems like there's some pressure in certain circles for women NOT to color their hair. But to each their own, and some time will come(not yet though)where in fact I will grow my hair out. It really will have to be just about all white though. I do get a ton of compliments on my hair now with its rich reddish brown that is not too dark at all.
An experiment I did many years ago when my hair was turning some grey and I was on the fence about coloring or not. I went to a store where there were grey wigs with differing amounts of grey in them, and they ALL looked awful on me, washing me out like you would not believe. The only one that "sort of" worked was the nearly all white one. I've stayed with the bottle ever since LOL!