Mine's much the same. It's too fine for gel and mousse and diffusing makes it a fluffy mess - diffusing WITH gel on makes it a HUGE stiff frizzy mess. And plopping just bends bits into odd shapes.
I blow dry very lightly and briefly with a tiny hot brush that has almost no air flow and use conditioner only styling or curl cream ( Pink Boots, I'm in the UK) or Moroccan Oil (which is the best, but has silicones).
I also got great results from KY gel - seriously! There's loads of threads on it on here, it's just a version of Curl Keeper really. But it makes my second day hair sticky, and is supposed to pull the colour from dyed hair, so I tend to use the Moroccan Oil now.