I know Firefox from another forum, and she always posts like this, which actually isn't all that different from how I post if I'm trying to impart a lot of information in a short amount of time. If you don't worry about tone, you'll find that she has some really good advice to offer.

I suspect that most of the trouble you're having is just in how you're handling your hair routine. Trying getting more moisture in your hair and detangling in the shower with a wide-toothed comb--gently!--to start off with. Having thick hair means you may need to use a LOT of conditioner. It may seem strange at first to have more moisture in your hair, but don't mistake moisturized for greasy. Most people are used to the feel of shampoo-stripped hair, and you have to adjust to something different. A few drops of oil rubbed in your palms and then distributed throughout dry hair will also help to smooth a bit.

If it's helps, my hair is very thick (5-6" ponytail). When it was past hip, I had a ton of hair; now it's just above BSL wet, and I still have a lot of hair (doesn't feel like much with 18" off, lol). Here's my routine:

Wash with Trader Joe's TTT conditioner--about 1 oz. diluted with 4 oz. water
Condition with Tresemme Naturals Moisture--two 50 cent sized blobs
I detangle with a Denman brush, and don't rinse out the Tresemme
Gently flip hair over (hold hair in a ponytail with your hand)
Apply gel--I'm experimenting with FSG, and have to use a lot; this morning I'd say I used about 2 oz. along with a quarter-sized blob of BRHG
Scrunch with flour sack towel, then plop and pixiecurl

For next day hair, I use about a dime sized amount of a mix of water, Tresemme conditioner, aloe gel, and argan oil (or camellia oil) smoothed throughout my hair. Works pretty well, although I still get frizz (good dews here, but windy).

Firefox is right that getting product in your hair, especially leave in, will help to weigh your hair down. If I just shampoo and condition, my hair just keeps expanding once it's dry. If the wind gets it without anything in it, I'm doomed.