Definitely some people do better with sulfates and silicones. I think very hot appliances really hurt your hair's health if they are overused but gazillions of people use sulfates and cones without a problem.

I just washed with a sulfate poo and am going to try a cone spray (Tresemme) today because I have been unhappy with how my hair has been looking and I need it to look really good this afternoon.

The only way to know what works best for you is to experiment. Cheers!
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift