So Confused on what hair should feel like
I've had frizzy, dry, uncontrollable hair ever since I stopped relaxing back in early 2011. I never did a big chop (way too scared) and I haven't gotten regular trims either. I also wore dreadlocks and only used Nature's Gate Daily Herbal Shampoo, a mixture of baking soda, apple cider vinegar, salt and tea-tree oil to deep clean the locks every other month. I had dreads for about nine months and LOVED them, I'm actually thinking of returning to them because i'm so disgusted with my natural hair.
It's been eight months since I removed my dreads and I've learned that I'm low porosity, with baby-fine hair. I think I might have a protein sensitivity, but then again I'm not sure. All I know is that since the day I took my dreads out, my hair has always had two constants: It is very, very, very dry. It is also frizzy. Currently the only way that I can get a regular curl definition and pattern is to do braid outs and then put perm rods on the ends. This is what I've been doing for months now and that's where the problem lies. Wash n go's are non-existent for me because no matter what I do, it dries frizzy and gets tangled. It also has not grown at all. In fact, I think it's gotten even shorter and is breaking off even more.
Coconut oil never seems to do anything for my hair, in that I never see a difference after I use it. I'll tell you what I've done in the past week and what's been happening:
I co-washed with Tresemme Naturals Avocado and Aloe Conditioner. Got out of the shower, dried with a t-shirt and applied Cantu Shea Butter Leave In Reconstructive Conditioner (I think, it's the one you can find at the drugstore) and braided my hair, put perm rods on the ends and left it like that for two days (it took that long to dry). I took out the braids and rods and seperated the chunks with a plastic rat-tail comb. My hair is still incredibly dry, almost immediately after seperating the braids my hair dried up and frizzed up. It's also very tangled, especially at the back and ends. I'm also pulling out long, long strands of hair when I run my fingers through it, and this is so normal for me that I'm not sure what to do. The only thing different is the loss of long strands of hair. I don't know what my hair is supposed to feel like and it's so frustrating!!
I don't want to have to start over from scratch, i've already spent so much money and time on my hair and I feel like nothing is working. How do I know how my hair is supposed to feel? This isn't healthy and I don't know what to do to get it back to a 'normal' state. Should I wash with a sulfate shampoo? Do a deep conditioning process? If so, what should I use?
Help!!! If I don't start seeing results, I'm going to just go back to dreadlocks. I've lost a boyfriend of 2 years because of my hair and appearance, my parents always ask "when are you going to perm that s***, it looks absolutely awful', and it's doing a number on my self confidence. It's also very frustrating to STILL have unhealthy hair after all this time. I've also cut out sulfates, silicones and parabens from my hair 'diet'.