Well first I want to say if your BF dumped you because of your appearance, he wasn't worth your time anyway. If he liked you he would still like you bald...enough said.
If you really like dreads, you should wear them. They're a very convenient hair style. Maybe you could even get sister dreads. They're more expensive, but they're kind of best of both worlds.
Not all curl types dry with a defined curl pattern. Many type 4b and c can't wear wash and go styles unless they're okay with rocking a fro.
Butters are great for defining twist outs and what not, but I find they don't really work well for wash and gos. I think the hair needs to dry with butter in it to get the hold and control before it's exposed to the elements.
Water , Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter) , Glycine Soja OilSoybean , Propylene Glycol , Polyquaternium 37 , Propylene Glycol Dicaprylate/Dicaprate , PPG 1 Trideceth 6 , Cetearyl Alcohol , Glycerin , Stearalkonium Chloride , Trimethylsilylamodimethicone , Panthenol , PPG 1 PEG 9 Lauryl Glycol Ether , Lanolin Oil , Cinnamidopropyl Trimonium Chloride , Hydrolyzed Collagen , Acrylamidopropyltrimonium Chloride/Acrylamide Copolymer , Hydrolyzed Soy Protein , Benzophenone 3 , BHA , BHT , Zea Mays (Corn) OilCorn , Iodopropynyl Butylcarbamate , DMDM Hydantoin , Phenoxyethanol , Fragrance (Parfum)
This product may just not be for you. My hair would die with these ingredients. It would just make my hair greasy and limp. I'm also protein sensitive too. You say you've spent all this money, so what other products have you tried? Maybe we can find a pattern.