I grew up having to use mostly dandruff shampoos so no way I was not conditioning. Let me clarify grease didnt cause the dandruff But it made it much worse much sooner. Nowadays I can stretch a shampoo to once a week. But if I used grease I would have to shampoo next day.
Probably the girls u knew with damaged hair were doing about the same as you were but getting different results because the products and techniques did not suit their hair. But instead of looking at other possibilities like maybe a conditioner or oil instead of grease some people will stick what obviously isnt working because this is what we have been told we "all" should do. A square peg in a round hole. some black people have the idea that all "black"hair is alike and should be treated the same when in fact we are individuals. I feel like some stylists treat our heads like assembly lines doing the same thing to each. That is why I stopped going.
I have had heat damage before. I have had permanent dye damage before. Yet I know people who bleach and use flat irons often no problem because their hair can handle things mine cant. Just like some hair can thrive with relaxers and some cant.
I just dont agree with saying "everyone". Not every technique or every product works for everyone. Not everyone has scalp issues. I am not anti grease. It just doesnt work for me. I have had people tell me I should only use products marketed to black people but I use what my hair likes so I dont care. If your hair loves grease you shouldnt care what other people say. My mom and some of my other relatives like grease just great.