Honey, PLEASE go get some help. I've been in your situation, and suffered for a long time because I didn't want anyone's help, which only made it worse. I've got major depressive disorder (very serious depression) and severe anxiety and have been battling both since seventh grade. I was suicidal for several years and even attempted suicide my senior year of high school. I'm begging you, GET HELP. ANYWHERE. Hell, I'll even give you MY phone number if you really have no one to talk to. There's light at the end of the tunnel. I promise. If I can do it, so can you. Chin up! I guarantee, you're a hell of a lot stronger and a hell of a lot more resilient than you give yourself credit for! GO GET HELP! NOW!!!!!