Honestly, you have great hair. It actually looks pretty similar to mine pre-CG, except maybe not as fine. It just needs some definition and moisture/conditioning. If you use a low poo (non-sulfate), use as little as you can get away with. Try diluting it--since you have a lot of hair, diluting will help you to distribute the shampoo without having to use a lot of it (this is what I do, either with shampoo or conditioner washing). I'd use a leave in as well; it will help to keep moisture in, provide definition, and help to weigh your hair down so you don't get the poof.

About crunch: it only lasts until you scrunch it out. I look for a lot of crunch out of a gel, because it's windy here and I need a pretty hard hold to minimize frizz. Then when my hair is dry, I just squeeze it all over and the crunch comes right out. The amount of gel to use takes some experimentation. For your hair, I'd start with dividing your hair in half and using about a teaspoon of gel for each side. Then adjust up or down as needed. It also takes a certain amount of technique, so don't give up if it doesn't look great right off the bat. Just try to learn something each time, and you'll figure it out. This video might help you with the basics: How To: Deva Curl 3 Step - YouTube
3a/b, fine, normal porosity, high density

Wash: CJ Daily Fix, As I Am, TJs TTT
RO: YTB
LI: Suave TC + CJ CCCC, brushed through with Denman
Styling: Smooth in LAL Wet Look gel, scrunch, and plop 10 minutes, then add a little more gel, cover with silk cap, and sleep on it
Refresh: 3:1 water/Suave mix as needed