Honestly, you have great hair. It actually looks pretty similar to mine pre-CG, except maybe not as fine. It just needs some definition and moisture/conditioning. If you use a low poo (non-sulfate), use as little as you can get away with. Try diluting it--since you have a lot of hair, diluting will help you to distribute the shampoo without having to use a lot of it (this is what I do, either with shampoo or conditioner washing). I'd use a leave in as well; it will help to keep moisture in, provide definition, and help to weigh your hair down so you don't get the poof.

About crunch: it only lasts until you scrunch it out. I look for a lot of crunch out of a gel, because it's windy here and I need a pretty hard hold to minimize frizz. Then when my hair is dry, I just squeeze it all over and the crunch comes right out. The amount of gel to use takes some experimentation. For your hair, I'd start with dividing your hair in half and using about a teaspoon of gel for each side. Then adjust up or down as needed. It also takes a certain amount of technique, so don't give up if it doesn't look great right off the bat. Just try to learn something each time, and you'll figure it out. This video might help you with the basics: How To: Deva Curl 3 Step - YouTube
3a/b, F, normal porosity

I've gotten my routine down to the bare essentials, finally
Wash: Suave Tropical Coconut
Leave-in: Suave Everlasting Sunshine, detangle with Denman brush
Gel: LAL Sport or Wet Look
Scrunch with flour sack towel, plop 10 minutes, air dry
Refresh with either plain water or Suave/water mix