If all else fails, clarify, go back to what you were using before, and then change just one thing at a time so you know exactly how it affects your hair. It helps if you writie things down. Another thing I did early on, when I wanted to try out different things and was getting impatient, is to use one product on half your hair and something else on the other half (but with the same product family--gels, leave ins, etc.). I found this was actually pretty useful, because I could compare the two sides and see what worked better. The difference is subtle enough that you won't look odd, but you'll be able to see if one product really does the job.
3a/b, F, normal porosity

Wash with either Suave Tropical Coconut, As I Am, or CJ Daily Fix
Condition with STC or Yes to Blueberries and detangle with Denman, rinse very lightly (baptismal rinse)
Add LAL gel, either Sport or Wet Look, scrunch with flour sack towel, and plop
Diffuse 5 minutes, then air dry