I think it was BEYOND TACKY for the grandparents to pay granddaughter and not step-grandson!!! IMO there is no justification for that preferential treatment when they are both the same age and like siblings. You just don't do that and the grandparents should be ashamed of themselves.

But honestly, violets, I think that is something you and/or SO should have said to the grandparents. And left it at that. Bc like others have stated above, there was no agreement for them to pay your son. (And to soften the blow and let him know you disagreed w/ the grandparents' behavior, you and SO might have given him a few bucks as consolation.

***

Years ago, I lived in this neighborhood that was very community-oriented. It had a Blockwatch and a civic association, and I was active in both. Every year on a certain date, they would organize a huge block party w/ food, a live DJ, prizes for the kids, etc. Most of this was paid for from civic association dues but the DJ's mom lived in area and did it basically for free and some of the food was donated by two nearby stores.

So when I moved into the neighborhood, they started asking me if they could use my yard/house as the location for all the BBQ grills, food tables and DJ station, bc my house was a corner property and had a huge yard. I always agreed. (Tho after the first year, I told them guests could no longer use my bathroom and they would have to rent a Port-a-Potty bc cleaning urnine and feces off my toilet and floor and walls wasn't my thing )

But one year, I was kind of busy before the block party. I was single at the time and just wasn't able to get the grass cut. It didn't look terrible but the head of the committee thought it should look better and enlisted the help of her friend, an older, retired man, to come and cut my lawn the morning beforehand. I said "OK, great."

Well, after the blockparty was over, the committee head approached me and asked me for money to pay the guy. And when I balked, she reminded me that he was old and not working.

It's been close to 15 yrs since that happened, and I STILL feel some kinda way about that. I just don't think it's right to hit folks up for money when no prior agrement had been made.

***

But in violets' story, I think the grandparents bear 95% of the wrongness here.

And I think A has learned an invaluable lesson in contract negotiation! ((hugs to him))
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 09-04-2013 at 10:51 AM.