It's just been so many years of it, and he really is a smart guy but he says, "I can't" to everything. He says he can't work the same job anymore, he gets in school and says he can't do it, he goes back to the uncomfortable comfort zone
He can have the lowest and highest (or unrealistic) expectations at the exact same time. He sets them high where he should really tone it down a bit (just because of the facts when it comes to jobs and income here), and sets everything else so very low. He can do so much more than he thinks, he just won't follow through. He's scared to. He does have issues with migraines, but at the same time he has never tried working in a different environment to see how it goes. He just assumes he can't do more than the minimum because he really doesn't want to yet he can't stand it either. He's a ball of confusion
I have typically been more let me know what you are going to do, for years, but I feel like I have done him no favors. He's never had involved parents. All 3 of their kids quit school. They were never around. I really wish he would stop saying no, and at least give a maybe...
I backed away from the conversation a bit ago. I told him I loved him, he deserves more credit than he gives himself, and I know he can do more than he thinks.
And thank you, Perri
He is more like family to me so... We can get brutally honest, quickly.