I really appreciate your perspective. Putting it in another's person's POV was very interesting and is helping me give this whole rel'ship more thorough thoughts. Thank you for being so encouraging. I respect your opinion a lot!
Ok, yesterday I spoke with my bf. I let out all I felt. It felt good. I didn't break up with him, but I did tell him how I have been feeling lately. He said he wants to try harder with making 'date nights.' He claims this will give more value to the rel'ship and provide that first date feeling. Now, I agree on some aspects of that, yet I still am curious about if I am just settling still. We spoke about being just friends, but we know it wouldn't be ideal for we will pursue other rel'ships and I don't want to know if he has someone. Yes, it's jealousy. But, I don't want him unhappy with me either. See I am still confused and can't even get my words right.
Using your example, I would tell my daughter to leave. I would tell her to experience this world and take in the other dynamics. I wouldn't want her to live in this small bubble she is possibly stuck in. However, my issue is I still love my boyfriend. I look at him and I feel that love. But, other than the love, I feel stuck at the same time. Why can't my feelings be more direct?
Also, here is another example of how sometimes I feel stuck and obligated in my r-ship. Today I have class until 12. I am a commuter and I work and intern so gas is a very high priority (as it is for anyone). My bf doesn't have much gas and just got laid off. He needs me to drive a few towns away with him to apply for this job that is 95% guaranteed. This is what I mean. Call me lazy, but I have to use my gas and go all across town so he can apply for a job. I know he won't compensate for my gas when he gets his last pay check on thursday. I know I should have more empathy, compassion, and sympathy, but I have my own things to deal with and I don't have time driving all around so he can apply for jobs. BUT, I am going to do it anyway. So this is a minute example of the frustrations I deal with. I am sooo sorry this is jumbled, but my thought process is all over the place. I am trying to tie in what you said to what I am currently feeling. I am still lost and don't know if breaking up with my bf is the full correct decision.
Also, (haha sorry again), his family pisses me off A LOT. Now I know I don't date his fam, but fam is a HUGE factor in r-ships. Whenever I go over my bf's house (which is almost everyday), no one in his family asks how I am. They all go on and on and on and on about themselves. They don't understand why I haven't finished school yet, even though I have been doing it since I got out of H.S. And they don't understand the rigorous program/stress I handle with my education. Simply put, they never ask me any questions so I can explain my plans in life. It's like they don't really care about my choices. I know I am not blood, but I am dating their blood, so don't they want to know about me too? I mean, damn, we have been dating for almost 4 years. They make me feel like I am nothing- just a lazy bum. I told my bf, but he says to ignore them. WTF? Really?
So this turned out to be a sort of venting sesh as well. haha But this is what I am currently feeling. Overall, thank you Korkscrew and I am going to evaluate more deeply what you said and continue figuring out my decisions.