Crap happens, but that doesn't make you a loser. I was listening to a cd recently and one thing that stood out to me was "Don't Take Things Personally." No matter how much someone hurts you, it's really about them not you. A lot of 1st marriages don't work out. I was like you....I knew on my wedding day I was making a mistake and I didn't know how to get out of it. I certainly have learned today. I came close to a 2nd marriage shortly after my 1st one and I know now it would have been a big mistake.
You've done nothing wrong and you shouldn't have to live with someone with an alcohol problem who isn't willing to get help. It's his problem, not yours. I'm going thru a lot right now myself, so if you want we can hang out on my couch or yours. I'm enjoying endulging in all the Real Housewives episodes. My guilty pleasure.
From Michael Berg:
Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."