In my home, time-outs are really a cool off time for everyone. It's not the "go to your room" or sit-in-a-corner type thing. Ds can go to the sunroom or his room to think about his actions. It usually does work. He comes down and apologizes. But there are times when has severe tantrums (he's on the Autistic spectrum) and it takes awhile for him to come down.
Chocolate Curls--ITA. Spanking serves no purpose, IMHO. It teaches your child that you can overpower them just because you're bigger. Plus, it sends a mixed message. How can a parent teach a child not to solve problems by hitting, when the parent is hitting them? This is my fundamental problem with spanking. But it is very difficult to unlearn what I learned growing up. I have to work very hard at it.