My son's hair looks a lot like your's! He is 17 months, and we have the exact same problem. We do not have a daily routine though. I generally wash once a week with babyganics shampoon (sulfate-free) and co-wash once a week. Then maybe on Day 3 after a wash I will spray with my homemade leave-in and perhaps top with a little coconut oil or shea moisture curl-enhancing smoothie, I'll also do this if we are going out and it's looking particularly crazy. But as you said, at it's current length, his hair is just wild when he wakes in the morning and after each nap.
I'm not sure there is a solution, but if there is, I'm willing to try lol.