Ok. so here is my hair story/questions/ranting...

My hair is very unruly, its WAY curlier in the back, than it is in the front.
Its shoulder length, and when i want to wear it down, I let it air dry and it flips up where it hits my shoulders. Also, because the back has extremely tight curls it looks shorter then the curls in the front..sometimes. It has a mind of its own.
I was just wondering if anyone else has this problem, if they can give some pointers because no matter what i put in it,or do to it, it never turns out right.
O and one more thing. I cant straighten it because it never looks soft, shiny, or even straight, it looks more like, hey that person tried to straighten their hair, and it looks fried, frizzy, and unattractive.
PLEASE HELP!